As a caregiver, sometimes yesterday, today and tomorrow become enmeshed with each other. When the tiresomeness of routine caregiving becomes overwhelming, burnout is the result. Less focus on the caregiving (expenditure of energy) and more on care receiving (replenishing of energy) provides fulfillment.

Often, caregivers are asked “How can you do that day in and day out without being totally spent?” Some might say, “I do become exhausted.” Others reply, “I am energized and nourished.” What makes the difference?

A healthy distance between yesterday, today and tomorrow is a clue. Let’s say yesterday was particularly overloaded with extra things to do. You woke up this morning somewhat lethargic because you didn’t sleep well last night. Already you are thinking about arranging for care tomorrow so you can go to the doctor.

Find a comfortable, quiet place for 10-15 minutes. Close your eyes and quiet your mind. Briefly review yesterday with a summary sentence and then leave it there. Concentrate on the most important thing to do today, not all the things, just one. Make the single phone call that will settle your plan for tomorrow.

Now picture yesterday, today, and tomorrow from the view of the one for whom you provide care. What might be her summary of yesterday? What happened to her first this morning? What is her concern for tomorrow while you are gone?

Dealing with each day as it comes and goes helps to avoid the stack-up of things that make caregiving overpowering. It is o.k. to say, “Let’s try again today.” With a creative leap of imagination, you can continue today without the left over baggage from yesterday and anticipated challenge of tomorrow.

Listen to a favorite song, review an inspirational saying, crayon an expressive drawing, dramatize leaving yesterday where it needs to be, taking on today, and allowing the next day’s challenges to wait until tomorrow.

The beauty of caregiving in the eye of the beholder, the care given one, is a necessity. You are the significant one to provide it. Don’t let the days run together and deplete your spirit of giving. Receive some special treasure each day to avoid concentration on the difficulties of the situation.

Lay aside any external conflicts of yesterday and receive energy from the good moments of the past. Put aside any internal conflicts you are experiencing and take for yourself what is significantly energizing for today. Tomorrow is another day bringing its own surprises of joy.

                                                                                                            Marcia L. Howland, 05-02-09